Incontables

No and in my own mural publicness: haven’t been Incontables times have spared the tenderness that claim without words at the same time. I’ve disguised me goodness, pretending that some so accept me. I’ve sacrificed so many present as pores on my skin, thinking of the past which I lost in pain that no longer exists more than in the mirage of my memories. The dam of my memories that clouds my heart. I have not been, or have ceased to be good companion. One day, lejanisimo ya, I got lost in my own deep tidal force.

Moonless night came, she swallowed me swirl ice cream from my mistakes (I will not say sins, but thought it). The illuminated surface of the calm waters where sailing was not over when I emerged. Waterfalls in sunsets covered with clouds of storms, cliffs and crags. The sea became a turbulent River and my boat a boat without oars. He began to leave blood in my mouth by the insecurity of my words. Crying became routine. A pit nostalgia. A custom repentance, and the future an already It will pass.

Since then the feeling that not reap more in pink land is already enquilosada. So foolish claiming impossible futures and smothering love. Stepping on flowers. Defending me from which defends. Killing me of fear by having forgotten the feeling of true freedom. Forces nothing so foolish, wanting to make sure I love without expiration date. So blind, demanding guarantees long-term where do not exist. So unable to, claiming fruit without sowing so silly seeds, watering boil bad of my own insecurity. Dragging as Typhoon that took me by the hand. Being centrifugal force and which calls for stability at the same time. No I haven’t been a good companion, I have not been the person recommended, that model that I recognized and bloats me happy pride years ago. I’ve not known love, I feel like the little girl who delivered flowers as a detail and does not measure the force with which tightens the stems and delivers them ready to die and then gets to mourn. That’s me, that the boat without oars becomes a fast course to apprehend the forgotten. That by not being able to turn on the light destroys the room trying to clean it.